Dear Kelsey, Skylee, and Megan,

Follow this step-by-step guide for the quickest route to Sculpey insanity!

1.  Volunteer to sculpt the cake toppers for your sister’s wedding. Agree to sculpt the closest likeness you can possibly create with the dexterity afforded by your own fingers and a box of toothpicks.

2.  If your sister is marrying a guy from Estado Libre y Soberano de Jalisco on the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico, make sure you find pictures of the correct attire he might actually wear, courtesy of Google Images or vigorous Facebook stalking of his photo albums. Don’t try to make him a white suit with a yellow sombrero and Falsa blanket draped over his shoulder. If he’s from Jalisco, he wears black. Think Three Amigos. Sort of.

3.  Bake the figures in stages. Attach the head and neck and all extremities to the body with toothpicks. Don’t add hands, ears, or hair yet. If the Sculpey people look like extras on the set of A Little Shop of Horrors with toothpicks poking out of their sleeves, don't worry. I forgot to take pictures of this stage for you, sorry.

4.  Cool the baked figures. Then add hands, ears, hair, fur, etc. The most important thing to remember is that if you are attaching one piece of Sculpey to another, simply sticking it to the surface probably won't work as well. To optimize durability, blend the edges of the piece into the surface with your trusty toothpick. Does this make sense? Maybe not. I’ll have to show you in person. Oh wait, I made a video. Recorded one-handed, and without sound!

5.  If your figure is wearing a sombrero, prop up the hat with a ball of clay and bake it like this in the oven. This way, the brim of the hat will keep its shape and you can remove the prop after baking. 

      Or, if you’re making an animal, like a goose that has a heavy body and really skinny legs and you try to bake the figure in the oven by standing it on its legs, the legs will break. So, stick toothpicks into the goose’s body and mold clay around the toothpicks. This is my best trick and it works great. Now that I think of it, you could also do this to make human fingers, but of course I didn’t think of it for the cake toppers, so the groom just has stumps for hands…oh well. 

6.  Paint! Use basic acrylic colors (red, yellow, blue, green, white, black) to mix any color that anyone has ever conceived of in the history of the universe. I've had this paint since high school. It lasts forever!

 

7.      Present sculptures to happy bride and groom.

Love,

Aunt Sarita

P.S. don’t make the cake toppers so heavy that they fall over and their noses and ears break off when placed on top of a practice cake.