Dear boss, I hate you

Also in the fall of 2012-early 2013, I quit all my jobs (except for URI, because it was really the only legitimate one of the three). In theory, these jobs were going to be the best things that ever happened to me. Teaching high school literature online. Working part time at the elementary school teaching cross-curricular humanities to kids who asked me, “Do you have any kids? Well, too bad. You would be a really cool mom.” They seemed like the perfect situations at the time, allowing for flexibility and networking opportunities. But now I wonder why I didn’t just take a few more minutes to think through the one question that really mattered: Who cares if, at the end of the day, I don’t have what Susan Cain calls the “restorative niche”? Or, “the place you go when you want to return to your true self.” Or, the time to do things that you want to do because you want to. My true self is a very nice person who likes to be in the same room as Jesse. But when I worked all the time, I turned into a very irritable person who always wanted to eat fast food and wasn’t interested in talking to Jesse unless he wanted to go to bed at 10:00.

I thought maybe the tradeoffs would be worth it. For example, as part of the work at the elementary school, I had to prep the 5^th graders to interview Ann Hood. So we drafted interview questions and I told the kids a little bit about Ann before her classroom visit. I told them that Ann was a famous author who was an eccentric child; one of her hobbies was to design license plates for the 50 states based on their state bird (she memorized all the state birds), and then she would mail her ideas to the governors. I told them that Ann later got married and had a son named Sam, and a daughter named Grace. Sadly, Grace died at age 5 from an unusually serious case of strep. A few years later, Ann and her family decided they wanted to adopt a child. Because adopting from China was the fastest and easiest way at the time, they went through all the procedures and were waiting to pick up their baby. One day they received a call from their social worker who told them three things: 1) “She’s cute”; 2) “She’s healthy,”; 3) “She’s 9 months old, and her birthday is April 18.” Ann and her husband were silent after the third statement. Because April 18^th was the day Grace died. And Ann wondered if she would ever be able to bake cupcakes on that day.

But then Ann and her husband decided that the birth/death day was a sign that Grace wanted them to be happy. They flew to China to pick up their baby and named her Annabelle. All they knew about Annabelle was that she was found in a box at the orphanage door one morning early in September; she was about 5 months old.

When Ann Hood came to our classroom for her interview, she answered questions about her childhood, about Annabelle, and her life as a writer. She told us about how she majored in English at URI, and then became a flight attendant because she had read the first line in a book once when she was 13: “How would you like to have a boyfriend in every city in the world?” For 8 years, she flew and saw strange things on airplanes—the woman who tried to carry a live chicken on the plane in his suitcase; the man who boarded a flight and somehow lost his pants en route; the man who didn’t speak English when the flight Italy and was surprised he had landed in New York when he thought he was on a flight to Rome…She used to write in the airplanes when the passengers fell asleep.            

She talked a little bit about how they still remember Grace since her death. Grace was very artistic for her age and took special art classes after school; her teacher commented on many of her pieces. One way Ann’s family remembers Grace is by keeping her artwork framed and hanging on the walls of their home. Another thing about Grace was that she really loved shoes. She would pick out which shoes she wanted to wear every day and line them up by the door. They still keep her shoes lined up for her.

Ann also talked about Annabelle, who is now 7. Annabelle is “old fashioned.” For Christmas one year, Annabelle decided to sew aprons—by herself—for everyone in the family. For her birthday one year, she asked for a typewriter. “Why?” Ann asked. “So I can write letters to people,” Annabelle said. Annabelle has a pen pal she met while on a trip to England and often writes to her. She also writes to Erika, her babysitter. Erika travels with the family in the summer because Ann travels a lot to teach and speak at conferences and vacation in places like Alaska, Italy, and Finland.

One of the kids at the end asked, “What is the difference between your old self and your new self?” Without hesitation, Ann explained that as a child, she didn’t have many friends. Lots of girls were mean to her in elementary school. She invited some classmates to a birthday party once and they all told her they were looking forward to it. None of them showed up. Things got a little better when she moved to a different town and found a new school where she worked on the class newspaper, but she was still lonely. Now, as an adult, she is wildly popular and successful. She told the class she hoped they would never ever be the mean kids that she had in her life.

It was a good interview. That was in early January, and I knew it was going to be my last day. After the interview, one of my favorite kids asked if I was going to keep coming back now that the interview was done. I lied. I started working in October, and by the time Ann had come for her interview, I didn’t feel like working for people who were dishonest and misleading in the expectations outlined in the contract. I lasted longer at the elementary school than I did at the high school, which I quit much sooner after I realized how stupid their curriculum was and that the principal was a weirdo. So I skipped to step 4 of Steven DeMaio's recommended procedure for "How to Quit Your Job with Style," and didn't even say goodbye to the kids. The circumstances were such that goodbyes didn't really matter anyway. In both cases, the people who hired me made it easy to walk away and I didn’t think twice about leaving. Which I've never done before.

I went on lots of lunch dates with friends to celebrate. 

So that is why from February 2013 to present, I’ve been hanging around at home a lot without much to talk about. I should enjoy it while it lasts.